Be My Reason Read online

  And then he kisses me.

  His hands are holding my neck and he kisses me gently, taking my top lip into his mouth and then running his tongue across my bottom lip asking for entrance. I open up to him. Of course I do. I want to kiss him like this forever. His lips taste salty and I realize that I must still be crying; only now they are happy tears.

  He is feathering a trail of kisses up to my ear. Right here, in the middle of the gas pumps, he is kissing my neck.

  “Such as?” I breathe out in a whisper.

  I feel him smile against my neck. “Sex,” he whispers in my ear. “Lots and lots of sex.”

  ~ ~ ~

  When we walk back into the apartment, Emma jumps off the couch. “Answer your damn phone once in a while, Lyn!” she yells at me. Then her mouth drops open when Nate walks in behind me. “Oh,” she says, smiling at us.

  My face hurts from the smile I’ve worn for the past thirty minutes. She looks between Nate and me. “What now? I mean, are you together-together?” She looks at me and adds, “Is this for real?” She looks at Nate. “Are you staying on the job? Are you moving into her room so that Graham and I have a place to stay when we are here?”

  Nate starts laughing. “Emma, we’ve been together for all of two-point-five seconds. When we figure this all out, we’ll send you a memo.”

  “Whatever,” she grumbles. Then she points at me. “You better call me tomorrow and spill.” She picks up her purse and heads for the door.

  “You’re driving back tonight?” I ask her.

  “You don’t think I’m staying here do you? I don’t need to hear you two ‘making up’, ” she air quotes. “Ick. I’ll go stay at my parents’ place and head back to Raleigh tomorrow.” Then she addresses Nate, clearly trying to extract more information. “What should I tell Graham?”

  “I already talked to him on the way here. It’s all good.” He smiles.

  On her way out, she gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, “I’m so happy for you.”

  I turn around and look at Nate. He is standing there looking all delicious, with eyes that look like they want to eat me alive. Oh, yes please! “Sex or talking first?” he asks me.

  My heart pounds at the memory of last night. “Sex, please,” I say in the lowest, most sultry voice I’m capable of producing.

  “I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He smiles as he walks over to me and throws me over his shoulder like a caveman. “My place or yours?”

  “Aaaaah,” I squeal as I swat his behind. “Better make it mine unless you left your bed made while making your escape.”

  “Right, yours it is.” He carries me into my bedroom and throws me down on the bed. He stares at me and I start to get self-conscious. He shakes his head. “Sorry,” he says. “I just can’t believe that you are here. I really thought that was it for us.”

  My eyes close and I shudder at the thought that I almost lost him. I almost pushed him so far away that I would never again have this feeling. This feeling that everything is bright and shiny new, that the world is at my fingertips. And, maybe, just maybe, I was wrong and I might deserve another chance at happiness.

  I reach forward, grab his belt and pull him towards me. “No, that wasn’t it for us. That wasn’t nearly it for us.”

  He climbs on the bed and crawls up my body, putting his hands on either side of my head. “Thank God, Brooklyn,” he says, right before his lips crash into mine. He kisses me gently, leaving his lips lingering on mine before he presses on with more determination. My hands weave into his hair, gently grabbing onto the locks of messy-blonde heaven that I have coveted in my dreams. His hands find the skin between my jeans and shirt and he makes his way under my top, caressing a trail around to my back. It is evident that we are both getting incredibly aroused by the fervor of our kisses. I can feel the hardness of his erection where it is pressing into my thigh.

  He breaks our kisses only long enough to remove his shirt and mine. Then his mouth is on me again. He cascades soft kisses down my neck and over to my shoulders. When he runs his tongue over my breasts, I quiver with pleasure. I reach down to undo his pants and slip my hand between the cotton boxers and his bare skin. I close my hand around him and stroke him, causing him to moan into my cleavage.

  “God, Brooklyn. I want you more than my next breath.” He looks me in the eyes and kisses me with a passion I have never felt before. I don’t ever want this feeling to end. I want to kick myself for thinking I could live without this, without him. He is like air to me. I need him to live. I will never walk away from him again as long as I’m on this Earth.

  “Then take me,” I whisper into his mouth.

  We quickly do away with the rest of our clothing, throwing them into a messy pile on my floor. He runs his hands down my stomach, leaving a hot trail of sparks wherever he has touched my skin. His fingers find my wanting cleft and he draws the wetness into my silky folds. His fingers toy with me and I shudder under his expert touch. That familiar tingle starts to build up inside me. The world falls away and all I can think about is how much I want him inside me. How hungry I am for him.

  “Please, Nate. I need you inside me,” I beg.

  “Not yet.” He rubs circles on my sensitive nub, sending ripples of sensation to the essence of my being. “You first,” he says. “Always, you first.”

  Then he leans down and licks my nipple, running his tongue all around the stiffened peak, gently pulling it inside his mouth and sucking. I am all feeling and wonder as his fingers slide in and out while his thumb works on my clit. My thighs tighten and white hot waves come crashing through my body as I pulsate around his fingers.

  “Yes, baby . . . that’s it. Come for me,” he whispers, hot breath in my ear, while I ride out the quivering orgasm that is rolling through my body. His words, his endearment, draw out every last shudder, making me come harder and longer than I ever have.

  Before I come down from my high, he climbs on top of me. He hesitates and I question him, breathlessly, “What are you waiting for?”

  “Uh . . . I don’t have a condom. I packed up my room and they are all down in the truck.” He hits his fist into the mattress on the side of my head. He takes my head into his hands and kisses my eyelids. “Do you trust me, Brooklyn?” he asks.

  “Yes, of course,” I say.

  “I promise you I’m clean.”

  “Nate if you say it’s safe, then I believe you. Please, I want you so much.”

  His eyes lock with mine as he slowly slips his length into me. His eyes roll back into his head as he closes them and his breath hitches. He squeezes my neck and breathes into my hair. “Brooklyn, you feel so good. Baby, it’s incredible. I . . . uh . . . God . . . it’s so good,” he moans as he quickens his pace.

  He grabs me tight and rolls onto his back, taking me with him so that I’m on top. His hands are on my hips, guiding my movements up and down his long shaft. I rub my hands over his hard chest, feeling every rigid muscle. Then I place my hands alongside his head as I move myself up and down. I exert more force against him, finding that little place inside that about shatters me every time he rubs on it. Building up again, I feel so close.

  “Nate, yes, don’t stop.” I start to tense up and I breathe heavy through my clenched teeth as he brings me to my second orgasm. I lean over through the waves of pleasure and bite down on his shoulder.

  “Ahhh . . . Brooklyn . . .” He lets out a long groan and stills as he releases himself into me.

  I collapse on his chest and we breathe, heavy and labored, until we come down from the best experience of my life. I can barely speak. I have no saliva left in my dry mouth. “Wow.” I roll off to the side and he winces as he pulls out of me.

  “Yeah, wow,” he says. “That was . . . Brooklyn, that was incredible. I mean, last night was too, but this—this was off the charts great. I mean bases loaded, grand slam home run great.”

  I giggle. Then I realize that was the first time he’s made a reference to baseball since he’s b
een back in my life.

  He gets up on an elbow and looks at me. He runs his hand through his glorious messy-from-sex hair. “Brooklyn, I have never had sex without a condom before. That was my first time.”

  What? I think I must look at him like he is crazy. Did he forget about that little thing called a wife that he used to have?

  “I know, I know. I was married.” He reads my mind then hesitates. “God, Brooklyn, the last thing I want to talk about right now is my ex-wife.”

  “It’s okay,” I assure him. “But how . . . ?”

  “She uh . . . she wouldn’t let me go without one.” He seems embarrassed to tell me this. “She was on the pill, too. She said she didn’t want to ruin her body with a pregnancy.”

  I think about what a selfish person she must have been. I wonder how he ended up with her in the first place. But I think basking in the afterglow of our incredible love-making is not the time to ask. That is a conversation for another day.

  The last thing I remember before I fall asleep is Nate rubbing little circles on my naked hip as I tuck myself between his neck and his strong arm to find a comfortable place to nuzzle.

  Chapter Twenty

  I stir awake, moonlight streaming through the open blinds of my window. I turn to find Nate’s eyes heavy upon me. He brings a hand up to push the hair away from my eyes. “Are you still with me, Brooklyn?” he asks.

  My mind flashes through what happened yesterday. I could have easily walked away. I was so incredibly naïve to think that I had any control over my feelings. I’m not sure I will ever fully understand the pull Nate has over me. He could have given up on me. Both of us have been through so much to get to this moment. Am I with him? Yes. Of course I’m going to say yes.

  I put my hand on his chest and smile over at him. “Yes.”

  He lets out the breath he was holding. “Then let’s go over those ground rules again.”

  I giggle. Then he proceeds to rock my world, once again, with two earth-shattering orgasms.

  Afterwards, when I’m still breathing heavily, my head on his chest, he surprises me. “I didn’t want to leave you back then,” he reveals.

  I raise my head off his chest to look at him. “Tell me.”

  “I had no idea. We—my dad and my sister and me—we had no idea that her spa was a front for . . . ,” he hesitates and then winces when he says, “for a sex shop.” He closes his eyes and his head falls back against the pillow. “That night, when I got home from dropping you off, the police were already at my house arresting her. We didn’t get all the details until the next morning. My dad went berserk. He called a moving company and paid them double to come that same day and move us out of our house. He said we had to leave Savannah, that we would be the laughing stock of the city.”

  He plays with a lock of my hair as he goes on. “When I told him I had to see you first, he said nobody would want to associate with me—not even a girl who likes me. That my mother was a cheap whore and people would treat us like lepers. I wish now that we had phones that could text back then. I mean, I didn’t even have a cell phone, but if I did and I could have texted you and found out that you didn’t hate me . . .” he trails off.

  “But I didn’t have the courage to show up or to even call you. I was sure you wanted nothing to do with me just like my dad said.” He pulls me tight against him. “I was seventeen and I was a stupid kid. God, Brooklyn, you’ll never know how sorry I am for that.”

  I tear up and I kiss him. I kiss him with gentle, long strokes of my tongue so that he knows I forgive him. “It’s okay,” I whisper in his ear. “Thank you for telling me.”

  “I’ll never forgive myself for that. That night with you, it was the best night of my life, until last night,” he says sweetly into my hair.

  Surely it wasn’t better than his wedding night.

  He pulls me close and locks eyes with me. “The best night, Brooklyn.”

  Okay then. My goddess within gives me a high five.

  ~ ~ ~

  Five o’clock comes all too soon this morning. I kiss Nate on the cheek, careful not to wake him, quickly shower and then head downstairs. Derek is already there, taking out the fresh pastries for the morning. He studies me for a minute when I walk through the door.

  “Didn’t get much sleep, huh?” He draws his brows together, assessing me.

  “Do I look that bad?”

  “Honey, you look positively glowing . . . and thoroughly bedded,” he adds.

  “Derek!” I can feel heat creeping up my face.

  “So I take it the crisis has passed and you’ve let that hunk of a man in your bed?”

  I ignore him and head out front to start the coffee.

  “Oh, hey.” He catches me before I’m through the door. “I took a strange call this morning from someone looking for Ryan.”

  “Why weren’t they calling his cell?” I ask, knowing he never takes calls at the shop.

  “The guy said he’d been trying to reach him for weeks but that Ryan would never get back with him. Something about needing all the numbers if he still wants to move forward.” He shrugs at me.

  “I have no idea what that means, Derek. Just leave him a note I guess.”

  The morning flies by, and before long, it’s noon and I realize that Nate never came in for his usual breakfast. Nor did he grace me and my customers with his sweaty presence after his morning run. He’s not having second thoughts is he?

  Just when I think I might drive myself crazy with wonder, my phone rings out with ‘Be My Reason’, which is now my favorite song. The song I have come to know and love, and I smile from ear to ear. I even hum along to it for a few seconds before I answer.

  “Hey, you,” he says when I pick up. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I’m good,” I tell him.

  He laughs and says, “Yes, you say that but for all I know you could be south of the border right now.”

  “I’m so sorry I ran out yesterday. I’m not going to run again,” I assure him.

  “You might have to keep telling me that for a while.” He sighs.

  “Nate, I’m not running again. I’m here. I’m with you. I’m yours.”

  Oh, God . . . did I just say I’m yours? I’m such an idiot. He doesn’t speak but I can hear him breathe into the phone. My mind goes wild with what he must be thinking. Probably that I’m turning into some stalker chick that will make him account for every minute of his day away from me. Maybe he doesn’t want me to be his. Maybe I’m merely something to occupy his time when he is on the job down here in Savannah.

  “Say it again, Brooklyn. Say you are mine.”

  Relief floods through me, my body relaxes and I am beaming when I declare, “I’m yours, Nate.” I can practically hear him smiling into the phone.

  “Hey, why didn’t you go on your run this morning?” I ask him. “I had some very disappointed customers.”

  “Disappointed customers, huh?”

  “Okay, so maybe I missed the Nate Riley show a little myself.” I giggle.

  He laughs. “I’ll give you your own private show tonight.”

  Yes, please.

  “Actually, I thought we could run together when I get home from work,” he says.

  If one’s face can actually split in two from smiling too much, then mine would be divided right smack down the middle.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Shower?” he asks, after our run, as we head back into our apartment.

  “Duh.” I roll my eyes and then head for my room. “See you after.”

  “Brooklyn.” He follows me. “I meant . . . shower.” His voice wraps around me seductively and desire clouds his eyes. A smile plays on my lips as my hunger for him ignites.

  “Oh!” I giggle and hold my hand out to him. “Absolutely. Mine or yours?” But I’m already pulling him into my room.

  He is ripping my sweaty top off before we even enter my bathroom. He kisses my salty shoulder and says, “You know, we could just take Emma’s s
uggestion and do away with the whole my room/your room dilemma.” He peels the rest of our clothing off and turns on the shower. “I mean, we already live together.”

  For now.

  He pulls me under the warm stream of water and soaps up his hands before he runs them all over my body, making sure to clean every little bit. He takes special care with my breasts, running his hands over each of them, rhythmically squeezing them and tugging gently on my stiff nipples.

  “What do you say, Brooklyn?” he asks, his hand creeping lower. “I want to wake up every day looking at your beautiful face.” He runs his fingers through my small patch of hair, feeling his way to my slick opening.

  “Ooookay . . .” I let out in a breathy groan and I feel his smile against my skin.

  He abruptly turns me around and places my hands against the tile wall of the shower. “Hold on, baby.” He rubs his erection on my behind. “I’m going to take you hard and fast.” He easily slips his hard length into me. It feels divine. He pulls out and grips the flesh of my hips and then slams back into me hard, causing his balls to slap against me.

  Wow!

  “You are so tight like this. You feel so good.” He reaches around to caress my breasts; pinching and tugging both nipples, making me moan and beg.

  “Yes, Nate . . . don’t stop,” I implore him.

  Keeping one hand on a breast, he moves the other down to find the apex of my thighs, rubbing slow, deliberate circles until I feel the familiar ache of pleasure in my belly.

  “Tell me again,” he groans. “Tell me you’re mine.” His voice causes me to shudder and tighten around him.

  “Yes, Nate . . . oh God . . . yours . . . I’m yours!” I shout through my orgasm as I hear his own exaltations when he comes inside me, emptying himself completely.

  ~ ~ ~

  Outside of work, we spent most of the last week holed up in the apartment existing on mint chocolate chip ice cream, sex, and the occasional take-out food.